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19th August 2007

1:17pm: No One Will Read This
I am basically making this post knowing that everybody has facebook, and I know that no one will check their lj for a long time, and therefore this will not be read by anyone. I am off today, and it is raining, like so many days in thia indescribably disappointing summer. So it is a perfect day to feel down and reflect on what is lacking in life. I wish things were how they were last summer. I wish I hadn't lost the friends I have lost.....some just faded as we all know happens after high school. It really is hard to fit everything in. Everyone is busy, has school, jobs, significant others, and it is impossible to see everyone. But you know that some people are still there, and it isn't that they aren't your friends, you just don't see them that often. That sucks, but for everyone that this has happened to with me, I still love you and miss you. Unfortunately things also happen that you could never in a million years predict, and with just can't be fixed with a simple phone call. Some things really do end, and you can't have them back. Maybe one day...but I don't really see how. I also hate how I have become such a lame person. Nothing seems exciting or fun anymore.....I want to get away and do something. I want to break out of doing the same things all the time and being predictable. I want to go away. I am so unexcited about life because it really feels as though there is nothing worth sticking around here for. I am so sick of trusting people and believing in things only to be let down. We make our own happiness, our own adventures, and we set the course of our lives.....but I don't know how to do these things properly. so much ranting latley. I know it will all work out in the end. I just want to feel useful. Have fun. Live. Really live.......hmmmmmm.
Current Mood: lost

(no, no i don't 1 thing to add | robin, do you have anything to add?)

13th March 2007

9:29pm: I definitly need a change.
Current Mood: disappointed

(no, no i don't 6 things to add | robin, do you have anything to add?)

28th February 2007

6:35pm: triple shot grande vanilla lattes avec caramel
I was content for almost a whole week...then 2 people quit at work....I am back to having to teach saturdays in the am followed by closing at save-on with a mere half hour in between. Geno has given me shifts that overlap my dance rehersals, and told me I had better not call in sick....but what choice do I have? I want to dance, not work in a corporate bakery with a bunch of losers. I have a week and a half to pay my costume/festival fees....and a total of $2.98 in my chequings account, thanks to a million other school apllication/ audition fees. Not to mention that the whole thing is a probable waste anyways, because there are a million other aspiring dancers auditioning for the same things as me...and I have nothing that sets me apart. It looks like I should get lots of sleep and not see people, as I have been doing as of late.That might make me less grumpy and tired, at least....but oh well........thats what those lattes are for, right?
Current Mood: stressed

(no, no i don't 3 things to add | robin, do you have anything to add?)

18th February 2007

4:08pm: I thought I was all out of secrets....but I though of something just last night that no one else knows about me.

Maybe I'll send it to post secret.
Current Mood: sad

(no, no i don't 8 things to add | robin, do you have anything to add?)

8th November 2006

11:05pm: Murble
Is it too much to ask to have some sort of balance?

I guess it is. I am just too emo sometimes, I tell ya.

I just hate that when one aspect of my life is at its peak, when I am so full of love, and so happy, and feel so on top of my life.....

Every thing else seems to be falling apart.

At the very least I would like to know why.
Current Mood: torn

(no, no i don't 4 things to add | robin, do you have anything to add?)

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